This year we spent Christmas at Mum’s house and I can safely say that I will never, ever preach that I ‘I don’t need sunscreen! I just brown!’ again. My poor legs look as if I’ve laid an overheating laptop across the tops of my legs for a good 24hrs and left it there while I forum’d it.
Toby, Grant and I trekked up to Coolum, about 2 hours up the North Coast, to visit my family for a few days. The drive up was ok considering it was blistering heat and we didn’t have the best options for music but the sun was shining and was placing the foundations of a beautiful tan to come (OR SO I THOUGHT). Turns out I do need sunscreen and I’m not immune to the radiation it spews down on us; although if that were the case I’d be the Bronzest Brazilian out!
It was great to have all the kids in one place at one time as this almost never happens! Actually twice this year that has happened, Christmas and about 6 weeks ago Dad took the girls and I to a resort up there for the weekend. It’s always good to spend time with Dad as I don’t see him that often, but when I think about it since I’ve moved out of home I really have only seen them evenly. If we had a car it might be different, but I don’t want to learn to drive!
I could never live alone again. This is depressing having Toby finish work at 11pm- depressing because I have to entertain myself and because he has to get home at 11pm somehow! I’ve had dinner cooking for about 3 hours now- he isn’t home for another 3! Lucky it’s slow cooked Chicken Tikka Masala! YUM!
2012 is going to be such a positive year. Already, since we’ve entered the upper echelon of the Milky Way (21/12/2012) I’ve noticed the differences. There were testing times which either proved we, as a spiritual whole, have grown or we’re moving toward a new and more spiritual dimension (ascension etc..). I’m hoping for both but in all honesty I believe that this era, the spiritual age of Aquarius, can only come about to those whom are ready to accept and embrace the lifestyle. Those that are open to the ascension, ones that are ready to alter their existence for the better of the human race. Before we can make contact with another race, we need to realise that we, Earthlings, are all Earthlings; not races. We need to establish world peace before we can be introducing new worlds/dimensions to what we call home.
This last week has been exhausting, to say the least. I don’t feel like I’ve had near enough sleep to function yet I seem to be holding it together a lot better than ever expected. I’m used to sleeping for 12-14 hours a day and now I’m in bed by 11/12 and up at 6/7. To some that would be a normal amount of sleep, but for me that amount of sleep is disgusting. The week has flown, utterly flown! Work has been great, meeting new people and being in a totally new environment is something that I thrive on- I love change.
The last few weeks have been hard, really hard, on everyone in our house. Grant (I’ve spoken about him in posts from 2010- DH & Pyramid), Toby and I have all decided we’re vacating Chester Rd and taking different paths. It’s going to be weird at first not having Grant around- I’m going to be so sad! But in saying that, the whole situation is the best for all of us right now. It’ll be sad to say goodbye to Grant as a housemate but the feelings of happiness and love that I’m experiencing at the moment totally override that. The excitement for the future and everything I see for Toby and I is what is keeping me sane at the moment.
Toby is my rock; I wouldn’t know what to do without him. I’ve never, ever, EVER in my life been so happy or felt so loved. Toby is everything I could ask for and more. He isn’t just a “boyfriend”, not in my eyes anyway. IDK. I can see myself being with him for as long as I can see into the future. If it weren’t for him I’d be back in Melbourne; normally, if I lost a job I’d freak out, utterly RUIN myself for a good month then repeat until the next job turned up. Then do it again. But, since meeting Toby things have changed- I don’t want to be that person anymore- not only for myself (obvious health reasons) but I just want to be my best for him. I’M ACTUALLY FINDING MYSLEF THNKING ABOUT SOMEONE ELSE FOR A CHANGE. Which, if you asked most people, would be a change for me.
I met his family on the weekend, went to Byron Bay (which you’d know if you subscribed to my posts) and it was great. At first I was fucking dreading it. I haven’t told Toby this yet but on the way up from Brisbane to Byron I spewed like 3 times as I was that nervous. I have the worst anxiety sometimes. Not just “normal” anxiety, it’s the type where you physically feel sick and withdrawn from everyone. That is something I was really concerned about- meeting his family and being a quiet bitch in the corner being sick…. Haha
Toby had a look at a place for us today! A two bedroom place with a nice big backyard and normal family things like that! The outside isn’t the best- bit shabby. But, I couldn’t care less- it’s going to be our place and we’re going to make it the most beautiful house. Toby’s furniture of course though- I own nothing.
It’s been, again, like 3000 years since I’ve actually updated this properly. Other than the obligatory picture and random quote, this blog has been neglected.
Hmm, well where to begin? Since we’ve last spoke a lot has shifted. A lot has happened for the better, some for the worse. But that’s life, a constant rollercoaster of emotions, situations and chakras that just won’t align no matter how much meditation and pure therapy you endure.
So, it’s September again. This time last year I was parading around Melbourne with Tammy, scouting out new bars, clubs and anywhere that would accept our drunken asses after our “after work” drinks. I think I dwell on the past way too much. This time last year, I can promise you, there will be a blog about how much I missed this time two years ago. Yet now I’m complaining about missing that time. I’m not sure what to feel, I really need to live in the moment and stop wishing that the past is something that can be brought back; because I know it cannot.
End rant. On a note lighter than the last, Toby and I have been together for 4 and a half (or so) moths now, which is something I’m not only surprised at, but overly excited about. I cannot properly remember the last relationship I had- and that’s nothing to do with being a party animal, it’s just it was that long ago, and it went for the shortest amount of time, that it’s slipped my mind. Either way- things are great.
I need to get my nails done, not like done-done, but just tidied the fuck up. I’ve stopped biting them, as Toby loathes it when I chew on them. Which is fair enough, I mean, I get where he is coming from- it’s gross and it looks grosser when they’ve been chewed down.
So, very unexpectedly yet welcomed warmly, I had 3 OOBE’s (Out of body experiences) or more commonly known as Astral Projection. I had fallen asleep at about 8pm as I’d had quite the evening of drinking cheap wine, and woke up again at about 12am feeling fine. I was a bit hungry so I went downstairs and cooked some popcorn (there was other things, but this bag was just so convenient). Anyway, ate that, had a chop then went to bed. I struggled to get to sleep and was forever in the half awake-half asleep stage tossing and turning.
It was at about 2 or 3am when my body began to feel really weird, as if an electric current were flowing through it yet no pain. I immediately knew what was going, as I’ve experienced this previously, and just went with the sensation and focused on the point of light in my third eye. As I’m lying there I being to feel the rush of the light hit my ears- it’s so hard to describe, there is this whooshing noise that just envelopes your ears. The noise obviously isn’t coming from the physical as everyone within 10k’s would be able to hear it. I’m not sure what it is but it began, and I focused on it knowing exactly what would happen if I brought it right into my crown chakra.
As I focussed more and more, I slowly began to envision a cyclone of sorts- as if I were laying on the ground and the cyclone’s eye was right above my eyes. It was primarily white, but as I knew what going on I was decided to consciously attempt to alter the vortex as to where it was taking me. The first 2 times I was unsuccessful, but only to the point as it didn’t project me to my desired location. The images of what I was attempting to channel were being projected on the walls of the vortex, every time, which was slightly reassuring as it was an indication that I could manipulate this to my desires, of sorts.
On the final consciousness shift, I realised I had passed right through the vortex. I was 100% awake and conscious because I was manipulating this astral plane to my desires and I had to “physically” shake my spirit out of my body at one stage. I guess you’d call it “waking up” in the higher plane, so I woke up in what I could only recognise as my bedroom. Toby was in the bed next to me but he wasn’t my main focus.
I was intrigued when I “awoke”- I knew immediately what had happened and where my consciousness was. It was the most bizarre experience. I laid there wondering what my next move should be, I decided I’d sit up as this was one of the most real and clear experiences I’ve had projecting. As I sat up I realised that my spirit had sat up while my physical body stayed on the bed next to Toby.
I can remember looking around and the room had this odd orange/dark yellow glow and the air was slightly misty. My torso had sat up and I remember feeling the most intense vertigo ever. Like, my left side and my right side were both being oppositely magnetised and I had to sit there and try control it. I remember thinking I should get my legs out of their paralytic state and attempt to do the “roll out” technique, where you literally roll out of your physical body and your spirit is free to roam with the silver cord attached. I decided against this as I was sure that I was awake and my body would literally roll out of bed in the physical realm.
In the research I’ve done since waking up from this most unexpected delight. I’ve come to the conclusion that I need to embrace these attributes and not shy away from sharing my experiences- as odd and weird as they do sound.
I need to now re-establish the connections to my root and heart chakras as I believe having the root under developed was what was hindering me from getting off the bed. As in, everything else seemed to float up without effort and with east, yet the lower part of my body (where the root chakra is located) stayed there in a motionless state- although I could feel the spirit attempting to lift, it just wasn’t able to. As if it was magnetised or just immobile.
I’ll attempt again tonight, hopefully with better results than last night : )
I have to thank Megan for this piece- it is seriously something worth sharing as we’re all aware most women have fallen into the “50 shades of Grey” club. This has been adapted to suit most of the demographic in the Redlands and beyond; there is something there that anyone can relate to their own lives.
Even though he only had one tattoo, I yearned him to fill the lonely hours between Dr. Phil and Day’s of our lives as he approached me with his pasty white arms hanging out of a Nike vest. His smile told me it was dole day, and I knew my velour tracksuit would be hanging off the lampshade tonight. As I stood in line at the job centre, thinking up reasons as to why I can’t work.
A sweet smell drifted past my pig like nostrils; it was a mixture of weed, sweat and Lynx Africa! I turned and there he was; Dwayne, with his pants halfway down his arse, our eyes met and he was soon lifting me onto the wheelie bins behind Safeway. He had already tied his Staffy to a post in an alleyway so we would not be disturbed. There was a tramp watching but it did not bother us; just added to the mystery. I knew then that this was love and my life would never be the same again.
I made a promise to him there and then that I would buy him a plasma with the baby bonus.
I couldn’t get the 7 minutes in heaven with Dwayne out of my head as I dodged ticket inspectors on the train that afternoon. His goatee and dead front tooth gave him a rugged sexiness that sent shivers down my spine.
I borrowed a randoms phone on the train and called my friend Brittiny to tell her about what happened. I didn’t care that everyone would hear my conversation; I wasn’t in the quiet carriage so they could all get stuffed anyway.
Brittiny (she prefers it to be spelt Brittahkneee because it looks better when she tags stuff) thought it was so sexy what had happened and as it turns out she knows Dwayne’s’ cousins best friends girlfriend Tay-Tay. Brittiny had met Dwayne before and told me he has a reputation for being one of the best fighters in the whole of Logan City and that he is really tight with the biggest pot dealer in Kingston.
So my man is dangerous, respected and mysterious! Knowing this drove me even wilder and I told Brittiny to tell Dwayne’s cousins best friend’s girlfriend (Tay-Tay) that I wanted to see him again the next dole day. The random then abruptly asked for his phone back and I ended my conversation with Brittiny. I couldn’t wait to be back in Dwayne’s’ skinny white arms, feeling the prickle of his goatee on my face and hearing his raspy bong cough in my ear when he takes me from behind.
As the voiceover on the speakers announced my stop being next (Beenleigh), I contemplated what colour fake ed hardy shirt I’d pinch at late night to wear to our next rendezvous. “Oh Dwayne” I thought, “Imagine all the Balinese style house décor we could buy for the marital housing commission unit if you knock me up with twins”.
The sound of my sister and her boyfriend having a domestic woke me up moments before the alarm ‘Naughty Girl’ by Beyonce, monophonic ringtone, went off on my 3315 that I bought at Cashies. My mind immediately returned to what I’d been thinking about non-stop for the past fortnight- Dwayne.
I had to be ready for my man; I had to look as desirable to him as he does to me.
I put on my sexiest hoop earrings, put on my playboy necklace and my new Ed Hardy singlet, complete with bra straps hanging out. I knew the sight of my pink tartan bra with my stretchmark covered tits spilling out would have him leading me into the disabled toilets in no time.
I entered the Centerlink and there he was. Fresh tracks showing underneath his fitted cap; the lines were precision cut and spelt out the word “Thug”. I only remembered to breathe when I heard him call out to me “Oi babe, come ere”. I had surrendered myself to him once before and I was ready to fall again. He slung his bum bag over his shoulder as he led me to our special spot; we got hot and heavy once more in the alleyway.
He was done and as he pulled his Kappa track pants up he whispered to me that he wanted me to be ‘his missus’, I could barely sigh my response whilst looking into his bloodshot, yet blue, eyes.
We walked back to Centerlink hand in hand- hopelessly, and madly, in love with my man Dwayne and the sexy way he keeps a cigarette behind his ear.
Suddenly astronomy is cool.
Fuck this. Leave my interests alone- a month ago the most important thing to you was The Valley. Now it’s Titan, Europa and Saturn and that frustrates me beyond belief. Go back to the beat and consuming amphetamines; the cosmos do not need your type.
I just had the most inappropriate thing happen to me ever. I’ve just finished playing Zelda for the night and I’ve decided to jump into my cosy bed and trawl the internet for more conspiracy theories linking Delta Goodrem with the now defunct One Nation Government that was made infamous by the one, the only; Pauline Hanson.
Anyway, I’m reading about said topic and I’m just chilling here listening to something by Mario & Vidis &Jazzu, feeling all relaxed and comfy after another day of being yelled at every call, when SUDDENLY all of a sudden SKRILLEX AUDILY RAPED ME. He just scared the shit out of me after just being sah comfy. I was so shocked it shook me and made me think I should tell someone.
I’d be more comfy if Toby was here. It feels like it has been weeks, liiiike weeeeks. When he arrives back we’re going to do so many activities. Fun shit like go karting and laser tag and paitball! I wonder if he would go paintballing? More so, I wonder if I’d go paintballing? I bruise like a fuckin’ peach, and you know what a bruised peach looks like; shit. No one likes the bruised peach.
I can’t wait for it to be summer soon. You know what reminded me of that? The scene in The O.C where Ryan is driving away from Marissa (season one, episode 1 or 2? IDK) and he looks back and she looks and the wind is blowing her hair and the sun is in both their faces so they kinda squint to see each other? Yepp. That bit. Well, it’s that exact scene that reminds me of summer. What made me think of The O.C? Nothing, it’s always on my mind…
Don’t worry to much, Awakening is an ongoing process/journey and remember that Perfection only comes at the End of the Journey As mentioned before what concerns me the most is that we are all getting so distracted by the ascension timeline and symptoms that we forget about the awakening. I said in the game over thread that there will be many more awakenings, the cardinal awakening was actually the easiest because the ascension process was than just beginning. Now it’s in full momentum and serves as a Major Distraction. Only by focusing on the inner during all these physical changes and events can you keep to your goal of bypassing all the lower astral and etheric planes and go directly to the higher soulplanes, thereby stopping any further physical incarnations here. There is indeed an “esoteric agenda” behind all this, so please use discernment and follow the guidance from your OWN higher self to escape from this incarnation. EVEN after ascension. Ascension is the awaking of your light body Awakening is the “ascension” of soul ***** I read, see and here many talking about “Ascension”. To keep things in context I perceive it necessary to address the difference between “Ascension” and “Awakening” for they are not the same. I do not want to offend anyone but that perception is your choice. Forgive me, I will try to explain it in the best way I can. Ascension is the outer awareness of a new reality. Awakening is the inner realization of Soul Ascension is a Physical vibrational shift on the Outer. Awakening is a Dimensional shift on the Inner Ascension relates to this physical dimension. The vibration level of this physical dimension is indeed increasing. and will effect everything/one here. Ascension is a physical vibrational shift on the Outer while Awakening is a dimensional shift on the Inner. All beings here and especially the ones you call “Alien” are aware of this ascension cycle. The physical dimension wont cease to exist it will only be in different resonance. To keep control and to remain in power these advanced races and their representatives here, are using whatever technology they have in preparing and educating the “human” vessel to be ready and to except the process. Their purpose is to keep you focused on the physical outer reality. It will be a better and easier reality but still a physical reality all the same.The forces controlling the physical and lower astral do NOT want you to awaken on the inner. They know the cycle and they also know that they have had many opportunities in the past to make a choice between Ascension and Awakening, but because of their technology and freewill they felt/feel more comfortable to maintain their reign here on the physical and to create a “Heaven on Earth” for themselves here. Relinquishing control for a higher density is not easy for those who have already found heaven here. Technology has become their God. Awakening on the other is the realization of soul, first through self-realization then through god-realization. Awakening of the soul is the most direct path back to home(god) it bypasses all the lower etheric,astral and causal planes and put you in contact with the higher mental an soulplanes. If you don’t Awaken Time will be reset and your physical experience and all its incarnations will start all over again. It will be a better reality, less misery and hardship in the beginning but will deteriorate, as it has always done on this timeline. Alas it will still be physical experience nevertheless.